A cannibal’s one weakness: spray bottles
Take no shit
If only this was a socially acceptable way to deal with assholes in the world today…
Misadventures of flapjack
The female body
Spirit: stallion of the cimmeron
Pooping after u haven’t pooped in like three days and it feels like u pushed a baby outta there
Getting chemicals in ur eye
The smell of vanilla
U know the usual stuff
me: hey i’m kinda good at this writing thing
*reads other people’s writing*
me: i am a literary potato
"Elmo is with his good friend, Lupita. They are talking about all the great things about their skin. For example, Elmo’s skin just happens to be very ticklish. Lupita’s skin happens to be a beautiful brown color. Skin can come in all different shades and colors. Isn’t skin just the best? However, ticklish or smooth or black or brown or white or tan, be sure to love the skin you are in."
I love this. I LOVE THIS. I love this. Children need to see this. Adults need to see this.
I know it was actually that a hospital wouldnt take the woman even though she was in labour and she gave birth on the grass infront of the hospital
Happened i think 2 years ago
me, a harmels cishet person: Honk hoynk
ANGRY TUMRL SJW:
i literally never get tired of this post
The Schick Hydro® 5 Groomer is a 4-in-1 beard-wrangling machine that trims, shaves, edges and hydrates throughout each shave. That’s a real tool, for real beards.
Are you a real man? Prove it. Shave yourself with this monkey wrench. Trim your fingernails with a chainsaw. Style your hair with a cement mixer. Use a jackhammer to blend your breakfast smoothie of protein powder and drywall. Drive a forklift to work. Fall in love with an air compressor and have five beautiful leafblower children. Have an affair with a washing machine. Get divorced. Spend the rest of your life wondering what went wrong. Start shooting up heroine with that nail gun buddy you met at that concert that one time. Lose your house. Go to rehab. Try to reconnect with your family. Your children prefer their mother’s new belt sander fiancé over you. You get a new apartment. Your roommate is a sewing machine.